Skip to content

Pillow talk sex column: temperature play

Carrie Brizshaw, The Croft's resident sex columnist, gives an intro lesson on the practice of temperature play.

By Carrie Brizshaw, sex columnist

Baby, it’s cold outside…and inside too! Temperature play is when you use hot or cold items to cause (spine-tingling) physical sensations.

If you have watched Fifty Shades of Grey, you will be familiar with ‘the ice scene’. The leading man, Christian Grey, grabs a couple of ice cubes and holds them in his mouth as he goes down on Anastasia Steele. Like in this scene, a blindfold is often added to increase physical sensations. Ice cubes are one of the more common temperature play techniques. Hold ice cubes in your mouth to surprise your partner as you pleasure them. This can even bring an added level of excitement to simply making out. There are a few more temperature play techniques you can try:

Put your sex toys in the freezer:

Freezing your sex toys can bring an interesting new element to the bedroom. Just make sure you only use your waterproof toys. Toys made of steel, glass and crystal are particularly good for freezing.

Ice, ice baby:

While you’re in the freezer fetching your ice cubes or sex toys, grab some whipped cream from the fridge! The cold sensations from squirty cream also count as temperature play. Cool down your hands by holding onto ice or an ice pack before giving a blow job or any other hand-related activity. Other food can also be added, such as frozen fruit or warm chocolate syrup.

Get hot AF:

Sweat is a normal part of sex and can be very, very hot. Pull the covers and blankets over both your heads and embrace the humidity. The sweatier the better. The intensity of the moment and intimacy will both feel heightened, plus the sweat adds a natural lubrication.

Warming massage oil up in your hands | Lovehoney Shunga Vanilla Massage Oil Desire 240ml - £24.99 

Erotic Massage:

Warming massage oil up in your hands is a subtle way to bring warmer temperatures to sex. Rub the oil between your palms to heat it up before applying it to your partner. Remember that not all oils can be used as lube (although many can, just be careful of oil-based lube and condoms). Opt for a massage oil that has tingling effects for increased sensitivity and arousal.

Candle Wax:

Ever watched the Wolf of Wall Street? You’ll be calling out ‘Venice!’ in your sleep soon enough. This is taking temperature play into BDSM territory. Rather than just stimulating through unexpected temperatures, this is introducing a minor pain element. I do not recommend just grabbing your nearest candle, find one that burns at low temperatures.

There are even candles that melt into massage oil | Lovehoney Mojo Pro Original Desire Pheromone Soy Massage Candle 75g - £9.99

There are even candles that melt into massage oil. Start by dripping from quite a height, the further away you drip the cooler the wax will be when it meets the skin. Test the wax first on less sensitive areas, such as the back and butt cheeks.

Pillow talk sex column: house of mirrors
Pillow talk sex column: masturbation

Fire Play:

Hello, Prince Zuko. This one is for more experienced BDSM players. Using a lighter, gently stroke the flame along your partner’s skin. This shouldn’t hurt, but it really elevates excitement and gets blood pumping. Make sure you don’t press the metal of the lighter to the skin. You can increase the intensity as desired.  The aim is not to burn but to create quick, short bursts of heat. Please perform with extreme care.

Featured Image: The Croft

Got something you would like Carrie to speak about? Let us know anonymously here.