How to bag yourself a partner this cuffing season

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By Daisy Farrow, The Croft Editor

The Croft Magazine // As the winter month draws in, students everywhere begin the search for someone to keep them warm at night. The Croft's editor Daisy Farrow gives you her best tips on finding a human hot water bottle this cuffing season.

Cuffing season is upon us and you know what that means - being too poor to afford heating and so searching for someone to keep you warm on these cold Winter nights. It means looking for someone to take you on cute Christmas dates, share a hot chocolate with, and cozy up under a blanket with, only to cast them aside once summer arrives because you no longer need them. Romantic, isn’t it?

Well, if you haven’t already found your human equivalent of a hot water bottle, then look no further. Here’s a handy guide to cuffin’ that ass.

1. Hang around outside the ASS without a coat

As the days get colder and the nights darker, the quickest way to find yourself a chivalrous man who will treat you right is to hang around in public places without a coat. Your knight-in-shining-armour will come to your rescue and save your poor, stupid self from the cold by offering you his jacket. Instant meet-cute. Once you get chatting, the date is soon to follow. (Worse case scenario, you can hold his coat hostage and refuse to give it back until he offers to take you out.)

Briscrush is an unfailing platform for cuffing your crush | Facebook / Briscrush

2. Write a Briscrush about how lonely you are

We all know that Briscrush is an unfailing platform for cuffing your crush, not just a place to declare your love for the edgy girl in your seminar who you’ve extensively Facebook-stalked without being judged by your peers. If you’re looking to cuff someone this winter, then writing a Briscrush is definitely a smart first move. Advertise yourself as being desperate for love and willing to date anyone, and watch your inbox flood with requests from Bristol’s best.

3. House-swap with someone on the other side of the Planet

We’ve all seen The Holiday; the very realistic Christmas film where Cameran Diaz and Kate Winslet swap homes, eventually falling in love with a young Jude Law (yum!) and a nerdy Jack Black (each to their own). It’s a simple process, really. All you need to do is advertise your cosy student abode on a very legit website, fly across the World to another country on your own, move into a complete stranger’s house, disregard all your responsibilities calling you back home, and fall in love with your host’s fit brother or film assistant. Piece of cake.

Your student flat can look as advertising as Iris's fairytale English cottage with a little work | IMDB / The Holiday

4. Be tactical, and on the prowl

The key to finding a good cuffing mate is to go in search for other people like yourself. I'm not talking about a Christmas Market or ice rink- those places are already full of couples. No, I’m talking about going to the cinema, a pub, the park. Places which you should really be visiting with someone else, but you’re just about able to get away with going alone without feeling too much like a loser. It is in these places where you’re most likely to meet other loners who are looking for a cuffing partner. (Hint: the best way to spot these people is by their cuddle-less arms and look of desperation)

The ASS is Bristol University's most romantic spot to meet a cuffing partner this cuffing season | Epigram / Daisy Farrow

And finally,

5. Find someone who lives very far away

The main appeal of cuffing season is its fleetingness, its temporality. You both know the relationship will only last as long as I’m a Celeb is on air, and that once Winter ends, you’ll be saying your goodbyes. Well, the easiest way to find someone in the same position as you is to hit up all the long-distance commuters. Maybe you attend a social for international students, Erasmus students, or a night out with the Northern Society (the north’s pretty far from here, right?). It’s the best way to find someone who lives in Bristol long enough to cure your Winter-blues, and far enough away that when you break up for Christmas break, you break up for good. Saying goodbye to your cuffing mate is easy when you refuse to pay the £40 train fare to Manchester.

Best of luck.

Featured: IMDB / The Holiday


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