The best of Bristol in Bed, 2019

By Daisy Farrow, The Croft Editor

The Croft Magazine // Much like Spotify Wrapped, where you get to reflect on your year’s most listened to songs and your favourite albums, we’re doing something similar here.

We’ve received a lot of submissions for our sex and dating column Bristol in Bed- who knew you lot were so dirty?- and in order to commemorate a year filled with such debauchery, terrible tinder dates, and bad bedroom behaviour, we thought we’d share with you some of our favourite submissions. So, introducing, the senior team’s favourite Bristol in Bed submissions.

Daisy Farrow, Croft Editor

My favourite submission comes from Issue 343, where someone gets caught out in a tricky situation after giving a guy a blowjob. It’s my favourite submission we received because it was so funny, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. It just reminded me of being young and dumb, and thinking you were so cool for doing these naughty things when you were younger when in reality we were idiots, and definitely not classy.

Hendrike Rahtz, Croft Deputy Editor

My favourite submission was the playlist perfectionist one from issue 342 - like he obviously tried to set a mood but got so involved in it that he actually ruined the mood. Bit too much of a try hard maybe? If the ‘mood’ isn’t right for you, maybe check with your partner too? It made out like she didn’t really have a choice! The imagined awkwardness of the whole situation made me cringe but in a funny way.

Emma Holding, Croft Digital Editor

The best Bristol in Bed for me was in the first issue - I remember not knowing what to expect, and having a good laugh with the Croft team as we sorted through some of the first submissions. This one stuck in my mind because of how mortifying it is for everyone involved. The (anti-)climax is reached perfectly, how did this person not see it coming? A night to put behind them, along with the sheets in the bin, I’m sure.

Patrick Sullivan, Epigram Co-Editor in Chief

I had to read this particular submission twice when I was checking the pages of The Croft Issue 343. Back in my second year in 2016, I found myself in the EXACT SAME situation. Therefore, I sympathise greatly with both those involved in this one-night-stand tale. It is an easy misstep once you concoct the lethal mixture of alcohol, a terrible sense of direction, a strange house, and post-sex bravado. In a wild turn of events, my partner that night swiftly found herself a stable relationship afterwards and they’ve since engaged. It’s no coincidence – any regular reader of Bristol in Bed should want to cuff themselves immediately to avoid the bizarre misadventures of single life.

If you want to submit your story to Bristol in Bed, and possibly be featured in our end of year 2020 review, then join our Croft Writer’s group on Facebook where you’ll find a link to our google forms. All submissions are anonymous (not even we can see who writes them!) and may be shared online or in print.