By Daisy Farrow, Croft Editor
The Croft Magazine // Always arguing with your friends about what is the ultimate Christmas tune? Well, the jury is out no longer.
Christmas is right around the corner, which means by this point you’ve already experienced pretty much every Christmas song known to man. Whether you’re working in retail and subjected to the same six Christmas songs played on repeat in store, or you’re the type of student that studies best to our boy Bublé, or maybe even you delve into the world of the unconventional Christmas jam, then this list is for you. Here is my unofficial, definitely-a-form-of-procrastination, ranking of the top ten Christmas songs.
10. Dominic the Donkey - Lou Monte
A lesser known song, but an absolute banger nonetheless. Who doesn’t love a song about a tap-dancing donkey? You won’t be able to get the sound of his “hee-haws” out your head for weeks. Honestly the only reason it’s so low down on the scale is because of its very weak relationship to Christmas.
9. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Frank Sinatra
It’s the song that comes on in the evening when the night is winding down. Your grandad starts singing it from the corner in his strong baritone voice as he cradles a glass of whiskey, and your nan weirdly gets a little emotional as she listens. A masterpiece, and deserving of making the list.
8. Mary’s Boy Child - Boney M
From the makers of that weird song your history teachers played you in class - Rasputin - and the strangely sensual Daddy Cool, Boney M are back to bring you Mary’s Boy Child. It’s got lyrics about the Bible, it’s got a jazzy beat: the two things that sum up Christmas the best.
7. Last Christmas - Wham!
An emotional rollercoaster: a betrayal, a confrontation, an awkward music video centred around an odd ski-trip. The title might be the only thing that actually has to do with Christmas, but this song is a banger and will have everyone in the room singing. Your nan loves George Michael, your mum loves George Michael, and honestly, you do too.
6. Merry Xmas Everybody - Slade
A killer opener: we all yell ‘IT’S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAS’ at the top of our voices despite it scaring the shit out of your mum as she’s driving the car. It’s on the radio at least three times a day, but it has every right to be. It may be repetitive, but that just makes it easier to sing along.
5. I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday - Wizzard
The lyrics say it all, don't we all wish it could be Christmas every day? It’s the song that has you all on your feet screaming the lyrics as the song builds, and it doesn’t get much better than that. A strong end: “why don't you give your love for Christmas?” It will never get old. A solid contender for the top 5.
4. Santa Baby - Kylie Minogue
She may not be the original singer, but it’s the best version in my opinion (asides from Michael Buble’s embodiment of ‘no homo’ by changing the lyrics to Santa Buddy). It might be weirdly sexual, and make my flatmate Mary uncomfortable- but to be honest, I like Kylie, could also do with a convertible and a diamond ring. Presents = Christmas.
3. All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey
‘IIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiii’- Mariah Carey is the most Christmassy thing I can think of, and so is this song. It makes me think of Love Actually, singing this at the age of 13 over my highschool crush, and belting out her iconic “all I want for Christmas is YOOUUUUUUUUUUU” off-key and drunk. Why is it that so many Christmas songs include yelling?
2. Do They Know it’s Christmas - Band Aid
Yes: they do. Much like Britain which also does not have snow in December, we all still know it’s Christmas. But problematic lyrics aside, it’s a contender for number one, and was very close to winning. It’s a song about peace, about snow, feeding the world. Pigs in blankets for everyone, am I right?
1. Fairytale of New York - The Pogues
Hardly a controversial choice. I may not want a marriage like them, but they are an iconic couple. It’s got joy, it’s got heart, it’s got funny accents. I could listen to it on repeat for hours. The lyrics might be questionable, but the angry yelling is very on-point for a family Christmas. That’s not just me, is it?
Featured: Spotify / Emma Holding
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