By Sofia Lambis, Deputy Editor
On October 9 hundreds of students gathered at College Green for Overheard at UoB’s performative male contest.
Armed with tote bags, Jellycats and in one case their mother’s sewing machine, 17 men competed for the title of ‘most performative male.’ Epigram’s News Print Editor Oliver Poyser went (semi) undercover as a contestant, using the paper's Rugby World Cup article to prove his love for women's sports.
The competition’s organiser Udoka first approached Overheard at UoB after being inspired by Timothée Chalamet lookalike contests. Up for grabs were the coveted prizes of tampons, condoms and a tote bag, as well as a week’s worth of matcha from the Source Cafe.
@epigrampaper_ uob activities #universityofbristol #bristol #performativemale #perfomativefemalecontest ♬ Terrapin - Clairo
The event kicked off with a catwalk, where contestants hurled sanitary pads at the crowd to cries of ‘smash’ and ‘woof.’ One competitor handed a bouquet of baby's breath to a woman in the audience, and later took it back.
Next, the performative males lined up for a talent round. They were given the chance to display their skill and answer some of our time's most pressing questions, such as ‘how much matcha would it take to end gender inequality?’
Contestants lamented period pain, mistook Billie Holiday for Billie Eilish and at one point confidently shouted ‘I would do anything for gender inequality’.
The crowd was with them every step of the way, only withdrawing when one contestant claimed he was ‘Team Conrad.’
Contestant number 13, Lorenzo, wore a bullet belt filled with tampons and asked for the audience’s consent before reading his poem. Brandishing a vibrator to cheers from the crowd, he declared that the ‘orgasm gap keeps [him] up at night’.
1600 votes later, Lorenzo was crowned the ‘most performative male’
Stirring his matcha with a tampon, Lorenzo said ‘the one person I really want to thank is bell hooks.
‘I didn’t really care for women that much until I read her books.
‘Honestly, I love women so much’.
One shortlisted contestant called his loss ‘heartbreaking’ while another ‘felt for the first time the pressure that women have to perform every day’. He thanked Overheard at UoB for organising the competition and urged people to stream 'Charm' by Clairo.
Calling the contest ‘a testament to free will’ one audience member expressed hope that it would return next year.
‘I’ve been inspired [by the contestants]. I’m going to start carrying pads on my carabiner.’
Featured Image: Epigram / Sofia Lambis
