By Milly Middlehurst, Fourth Year, German and Italian
“Are you going to stay together for university?” I was asked this question countless times before moving to Bristol. Honestly? The thought had never crossed my mind. Personally, staying together was a no-brainer.
Entering my final year, I have been with my boyfriend for over five years. I don’t regret it one bit! At times, the £60 distance was a struggle, but it has been and is still worth it. After spending an entire gap year together, my first term was definitely the hardest. Nonetheless, we powered through and having finished my year abroad, our long distance relationship only gets easier to manage.
Living apart allowed us to develop as people, giving us enough time to explore various hobbies and interests, whilst our fortnightly and monthly visits during the holidays kept our relationship strong.
Many are shocked that we have managed this, but it's not as hard as it seems.
All it takes is not expecting to be at each other's whims 24/7, taking everything as it comes, and most importantly, not sacrificing the things important to us to see each other. That is crucial in preventing resentment from building up. Long-distance relationships during university fail when you don’t let each other blossom as individuals, depending on each other too much.
I love my partner and our decision to go the distance. However, this choice might not work for everyone. Long-distance relationships are a commitment that require steady communication and a lot of trust. For some, this arrangement might be anything but easy.
I've witnessed plenty of my friends' relationships crumble under the pressure of university. Occasionally, it was harder for them to make meaningful connections with new people when their minds were always wandering back to their partner at home.
Beth Nugent
My flatmate's long-term relationship ended by the beginning of second year. She wishes she had spent that time single, instead of spending nearly every weekend with him. Prioritising her partner throughout first year, she now regrets not spending more time exploring Bristol with her new friends.
For many, the pre-freshers break is likely the better option. But, that decision requires hindsight. In the moment, it is difficult to judge.
Ultimately, I have no regrets. I still enjoyed both the "traditional university experience" and my relationship. I went clubbing every night during 'Welcome Week' and continued to do so throughout the years. I found my friends for life and joined societies just like everyone else.
Featured Image: Illustration by Epigram/Romina Trevino
Has this article changed your perspective on long-distance relationships?
