Growing up as a woman surrounded by boys

By Geesue Abrichami, First Year Anthropology

The Croft Magazine // As we approach international women's day, Geesue reflects on the male presences in her life and how it impacted her development as a woman.

In my family of five, I am the eldest of three kids and the only girl. I must say that I wouldn’t have it any other way; the biggest perk being that I have no sisters who steal my clothes, but still have brothers who I can spend my days annoying.

While my mum has been integral to my upbringing, I cannot deny that growing up alongside my twin brothers and looking up to my father has helped shaped the woman I continue to grow into today.

Is it a cliché to say I have the most amazing Dad ever? We’ll go through with it anyway. Perhaps it’s because I’m his first born, perhaps it’s because I’m his only daughter, but my Dad has always been my biggest supporter.

It’s interesting because, earlier this year, I read an article that discussed how fathers are the only people who can raise their daughters up when they are at their lowest, something that studies have shown as well. As soon as I read this, it completely resonated with me. Let’s be clear, I know that my Dad isn’t the only the ‘most amazing Dad ever’, but he’s certainly the best I could ever ask for.

Through issues at school, friendship bickers, mini failures, bigger failures, university rejections, A Level disasters, and much more, my dad has been my rock through it all. Something I am most grateful for is the way that, from a young age, my father made sure that I was aware of the reality of the world we live in, where men and women aren’t treated as equals just yet.

In doing so, however, he hasn’t allowed me to take it as a helpless fact, but has prepared me to combat and rise above these challenges instead. I think my Dad has always wanted me to know that anyone is capable of anything, no matter who they are, which has been especially evident to me growing up alongside my twin brothers.

My brothers are five years younger than me, and as they started to grow older, I began to notice how important it was to my Dad to treat us all equally. For example, when my brothers would initiate physical fights with me over changing the channel (as siblings do), aside from receiving an earful from my Dad, we would all be told to “never hurt your own blood.” It would never be a case of saying “you don’t hit a girl”. And, I know this was a conscious word choice on my father’s part.

But beyond issues of inter-sibling violence, my parents make sure to treat my brothers and myself identically: I don’t get a free pass or treated like a princess because I’m the only girl, and my parents hold the same levels of expectations for all of us, in all aspects of our lives.

I realise I have perhaps made my brothers seem like unpleasant individuals, but I assure you that this is only sometimes true. For the most part, I have to say that they have taught me so much. We fight and tease each other like nobody’s business, but we would also do anything for each other. My bond with them is like no other, and it has certainly tested my patience, but I think this light-hearted turbulence has taught me how to compose myself in relationships with all sorts of people in my life.

All in all, my Dad and my brothers are three unique individuals in my life who have contributed to who I am in so many different ways. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Featured: Epigram / Geesue Abrichami

Find The Croft Magazine inside every copy of Epigram Newspaper