Milly Middlehurst considers what happens when self-expression becomes its own kind of beauty standard.
Stars, spirals, stripes, spots. 10 years ago, you might have thought I was describing clothes, but now more than ever before, the face is the canvas. Whether it’s leopard print eyeliner, teal lipstick, or buttons glued onto cheeks, every day we are bound to see another new and trending makeup concept on our screens. Search ‘eyeliner’ on Pinterest and no longer is it simply a tutorial for how to achieve the best smoky eye, but instead you’re transfixed by the skill and technique required to pull off the unique look. You think ‘that’s so cool and original’, but the next day your feed is full of recreations. And then, of course, you want to try the same. At least, I know I do. When I decorate my eyes with a new eyeliner look, I feel like a whole new woman, but is it really self-expression or do I just want to fit in by standing out?
It’s 2016, and for my 13th birthday I’ve been gifted my first proper eyeshadow palette. I wanted a Kylie Jenner lip kit, but I suppose the eyeshadow will do. My foundation is bright orange but at least it covers the gnarly acne that’s broken out on my face overnight. I think I’ll fit in now but somehow, I still don’t look the same as the cool girls do with their perfectly ‘on fleek’ eyebrows and overlined lips. I’m genuinely inspired by the cut creases and colourful blends of eyeshadow I see everywhere online. I follow YouTube tutorials to no avail, in an attempt to blend in.
Fast forward to the present, I still love the colourful and diverse makeup looks I try every day, but I am not naïve to the invisible forces urging me to wear makeup in the first place. Elaborate eyeliner will distract from my acne; my bright lipstick distracts from the fact that I wear glasses, a headband will hide my hairline. You need a good powder because your skin is so oily but wait — now glowy makeup is the new big thing, so you should add gloss to your eyelids and face.
Despite the various motives behind why we might want to look the way we do, Bristol is a freeing place to release the creativity behind beauty. Individuality is applauded and unlike in the village where I grew up, it truly feels like I can look however I fancy and nobody would bat an eyelid. Weirdly, I have become so much more comfortable in my own skin and much more individual, whilst also fitting in more than ever before. On the contrary, if I happen to not wear makeup or dress in my favourite outfit every day, my identity feels out of place in Bristol. Perhaps we are all performing for some invisible audience.
Beauty definitely feels more freeing than it used to. An increasing number of creators are showing us incredible looks whilst rejecting the current beauty trends. If only my younger self knew that her love for makeup could stem from more than just insecurity. Nevertheless, I can’t help but notice how the influencers praised for their game-changing beauty tips are already conventionally attractive. Do we now overly praise uniqueness and creativity in the place of conformity? Is it only possible to be creative in your beauty if you are already beautiful? And does it encourage authenticity, or is it yet another mode of performance?
1 Just Jack - ‘Starz in their eyes’, 2007
