Why are the Sainsbury's self-checkouts angry at me?

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By Scarlett Sherriff, Fourth Year French and Spanish

The Sainsbury’s self-checkout machines turn a frustrating day into one that is utterly unpalatable.

The sheer passive aggressive disdain at me, a slow, incompetent human, is uncalled for. I do not need a machine to bother me, there are plenty of people who are more than capable of that.

Mostly when I go to Sainsbury’s it is because I have forgotten to make a packed lunch. I do not go to the place out of choice. I would never, of my own volition, go somewhere that is always busy and that I find a confusing maze. I know I am not speedy or logical in the supermarket so I certainly do not need the passive contempt of a machine to remind me I’m inefficient.

I do not need a machine to bother me, there are plenty of people who are more than capable of that.

I can accept the extortionate price of a meal deal which includes bog standard crisps and a just about edible sandwich, and I can accept that it is my fault for being lazy. I can blame my poor timing for the queue, and I will blame myself for the rude glares I get from people when I haphazardly bump into them.

But what grates me is the phrase, ‘Please take your items’, said by a machine in an exasperated and authoritarian tone.

A machine has no right to be offended. It has no feelings. I, however, do - I’ve got deadlines and I have been hurrying up for a whole selection of people all day.

When I get my lunch, it is a moment for pause, even if I must shift past crowds of freshers. I have got my music on in my ears and I refuse to hurry. I am perfectly happy to ignore everyone, and shamelessly, I will do everything at a snail pace.

People are stupid to endure the endless queue if they were pressed for time.

So for the love of God, Sainsbury’s, stop rushing me.

Alan Carr’s voice telling me about Red Nose Day was also utterly uncalled for.

Why were you trying to guilt me into buying a stupid red nose? I am deep into my overdraft and the meal deal is extortionate as it is.

I heard from Bristruths that you can mute the things, and I will definitely be doing so.

What do you think about the self-checkouts? Let Epigram know!

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