By Grace Bourne, Third Year, History and French
Frantic Instagram searches over a potential first name was how I spent my drive to university, desperate to know just a little bit about the people I was going to be living with. For most students this is your first time living independently. As much as that can be terrifying in itself, knowing that you’re living with total strangers who you are expected to best friends with, that really is terrifying.
What if they’re all awful? What if they’re great but hate me? What if I’m about to meet my future bridesmaids? These were just some of the thoughts crossing my mind as I towed my massively overpacked suitcase to the second floor of my first-year accommodation.
Not knowing whether you’re walking into a lion’s den or the middle of a Wild Child esque montage where you’ll be running around holding hands to the sound of 'Suddenly I see', is frightening. It is a total lottery, and only one in 45,057,474 win the UK lottery jackpot every year. So, if you’re now two months in and worried that you haven’t met your life long best friends yet, chances are you haven’t, and that’s ok. The best you can really hope for is that you are lucky enough to move in with kind people who don’t play the drums in a heavy metal band. It is not fair to put yourself under the pressure to find best friends in a group of entirely randomly assigned people.
The bad, but not world falling apart, case scenario is that you move in with people who are nice enough, don’t leave their food in the sink hole, but have completely different interests and are totally disinterested in you. It can feel incredibly overwhelming feeling alone in a flat full of other people, and it’s really easy (and very normal) to feel stuck.
There are, however, 30,660 students at the University of Bristol, so there is hope! Societies are a great option to go beyond your first-year flat circle: chess club, photography, wildlife film, kayaking, pub quiz, historical reenactment, Taylor Swift appreciation society, they are all out there just waiting for you.
Other ways to escape the walls of first-year accommodation include: trauma-bonding over that one professor or that ridiculous seminar reading with course mates; hanging out in the common room at your accommodation meeting your other neighbours; part-time work can also be a great way to escape the University bubble.
The worst-case scenario is that you move into a flat with people who really can make your life hell. Jumped up, sororityesque, exclusive and mean- not characteristics you want in flat mates, but sadly these people do exist. It can be, not only extremely isolating living in a flat filled with characters like these but, draining and damaging. It’s exhausting not feeling at ease or even safe in a place you are meant to call home. It is also not sustainable.
The University of Bristol has processes to keep you safe, which includes protecting you from any form of bullying so reach out and find support if you need it. The University recommends contacting wellbeing support as a first port of call, and after the 20th of October you will be entitled to request a change of rooms if things really aren’t going well.
Good case scenario: you move in with some good, kind people, at least some of whom enjoy your company. Here are some tips I have come across to try to ensure the most positive first-year flat environment.
The best thing you can try to do is avoid creating problems for the sake of it. Don’t be the person sending eight unanswered messages to the group chat about a fork left in the sink (yes, this has happened). Try your best to have dinner round the table every now and again. Maybe organise a games night or a pub trip!
But it’s also ok if every now and again you want to have dinner in front of Netflix on your own after an exhausting day. And if your next-door neighbour has a guitar that they just bought and decide the best time to learn how to play it is at
1 am with the window open (yes, this too happened), asking them to cut it out is ok too.
Emma Yeo
Amaya Lewis-Patel
A week into arriving at university the flat next door to mine had been on three trips and gone for a big meal out. My first outing with my flat mates was a trip to ASDA Bedminster; we got lost, realised the bus wasn’t running, which we of course only found out after having done the shop and ended up with a 40 minute walk home with weak plastic bags filled to the brim. We ended up getting on just fine without having to have gone for an expensive dinner or day trip.
I won’t go into too much detail about the flat next door, but that implosion ended up being just around the corner. The point being, if you see your neighbours doing cool things, walking around arm in arm down the corridors and acting like a secondary school clique in the first couple of months, that does not mean you’re not doing things right. Trying your best to get on with the people you live with is important but more often than not, it’s the lending someone a tea bag that
means the most. If you are someone who happens to find your BFFs in your first year flat then that’s brilliant, but it is not a bad reflection on you if it doesn’t quite work out like that. All you can do it try to clean up after yourself, have the odd chat over a boiling kettle and, if all else fails, explore the vast expanse of university life outside of the walls of first year accommodation.
Featured Image: Epigram / Sophie McLaren
How was your first year flat?
