By Sophie Scannell, Music Editor
‘Sexting you at the mental health talk seems counterproductive’ sings Self Esteem, on her stratospheric sophomore album that shot her amongst the stars, gathering Mercury Prize nominations and Guardian number one spots as she soared. Following up with an equally fruitful new album, A Complicated Woman, Self Esteem is championed by fans young and old in her second of an impressive three-night stint in Beacon Hall.
Prioritise Pleasure’s critical acclaim came with a lot of celebration. Four years later, and with a new album under her belt, Rebecca Lucy Taylor (under the moniker Self Esteem) has commented on reaching a time in her life where questions of children and the maturing of age as a woman has come to the fore of her mind. She likens the experience to being out to play before mum and dad call you back inside.
Entering the world of staying in, leaving behind the ‘playing out’, and being able to reflect on those periods of her life from their peripheries is hugely admirable, especially given the BRAT-ified resurgence of party culture that has taken rise across the pop music scene since last summer.
Responding to and engaging in conversation with her previous album, in my opinion, the new record builds on themes of alcohol dependence, the never-ending exemplar of disappointing men, self-image, unfulfilling success, and the rest of a rather lengthy list of female woes. In her own words, ‘I’m not complaining I say / I’m just whinging in a new way’.
The contradictory nature of wanting to do everything and forgiving yourself for doing nothing simultaneously becomes more pronounced in this album, and here the ‘complicated woman’ reveals herself.
From her first song at the hall, Taylor is joined by eight dancers on stage, who double as singers, one of which triples as a trumpet player. Behind them is a circular, LED adorned platform with a drummer and bassist who somehow both lay the foundation and provide the flourishes of almost every song on the setlist. The word talent doesn’t quite cut it when it’s literally ten-fold on this stage.
A moment is taken to introduce the sea of faces on stage, all of whom are female bar drummer, Mike Park, who Taylor hesitates to welcome - she humorously teases, ‘we’ll allow it’, which is met with a ripple of giggles from the largely female crowd.
Being her second show of her Bristol triplet, Taylor admits she ‘was poorly last night but is less poorly tonight and now [she] feel[s] more present’. I thought it would be handy to pinch this for the review, because if there is one word I could use to describe this show it would be ‘presence’.
As a lyricist, Taylor time and time again speaks to ideas of reflection and self-empowerment, whilst ultimately accepting and forgiving yourself in the present moment. Meanwhile, the gripping theatrics of her live show are near-impossible to look away from, holding me in a blissful liminality that meant for an hour and a half I was thinking about little else then the nine handmaids that twirled about the stage, a nod to her latest album’s cover art.
Many in the audience were here for all three shows, as Self Esteem boasts an overwhelmingly loyal fanbase, often spotted at multiple shows across a single tour, likely flashing their tattoos of her heartfelt lyrics immortalised on their skin. Fans recognise the song just by the opening sample, scream vehemently as their favourite ones begin, and one particularly thoughtful lady ditched her boyfriend from their seats to dance, conscious not to obstruct the view of anyone behind her. As classy as they are die-hard.
‘Focus Is Power’ is one of the many highs of the set. Purple hues flushed across the audience, the hall’s iconic disco ball activated - there was almost nothing that could’ve been added to the stage to elevate this number. That’s what I thought, of course, before two inflatable tube men burst out of the stage fans, wackily flailing about the dancers as they grapple with them to point the air flow towards Taylor, who proceeds to deliver the final blow of the chorus completely windswept and utterly fabulous.
Similarly, one of the titans of Taylor’s discography, ‘F*cking Wizardry’, is nothing short of heavenly gospel. The orchestral prowess of this moment was one of many across the set, appearing in big flourishing ballads of positivity, to crushing wallows in her more sombre pieces.
‘What Now’, for example, acts as a comedown from a particularly big song, where the girls huddle together around a collection of light beams, duskily lit and tribally humming notions of chasing success that will never be enough to fulfil you: ‘You finally have enough / I know that should mean something / but it doesn't mean a lot right now’.
Her discography boasts some of this kind of stellar lyricism across the board. Prioritise Pleasure’s ‘I Do This All The Time’ being a personal standout for its similarly frank yet sincere words:
‘Old habits die for a couple of weeks and then I start doing them again / This sun is making me feel like I'm missing out on something / But if I went to your barbecue, I'd feel uncomfortable and not be sure what to say anyway’.
‘In Plain Sight’ is one where Moonchild Sanelly joins the ensemble on stage. Having just opened the show hours before alongside Nadine Shah, the two are artists that Taylor deems the most exciting in the industry at the moment. ‘You're all in the presence of greatness!’, as she puts it.
Eluned Darwin Goss
As well as hailing these two, Taylor dedicates her show to two charities: Schools Consent Project and Choose Love. A portion of profits from her shows are going towards the two organisations, despite already funding a team of 10+ people on stage, not to mention those behind the curtain who help to make it happen each night. Struggling to wrap my head around how that works logistics-wise (I’m an English student for a reason), Self Esteem is nonetheless a diligent example of artistry being used for the utmost good.
If that didn’t encourage us enough to embrace her positivity on the walk home, Shirley Bassey’s ‘This is My Life’ serenading the girls off stage in a conga line formation definitely did the trick. A fabulous ending to a fabulous show.
Featured Image: Sophie ScannellWhat’s the best show you’ve seen at the Beacon?
