By Katy Hobbs, Second Year, English and History
While many students excitedly await the winter break and the home comforts it brings, others find this period increasingly stressful due to strained relationships with family. For decades, the winter/Christmas break has been presented by the media as a period marked by joy, cheer and the coming together of families. These idealised festive values dominate our everyday lives in the run-up to Christmas, including the adverts we watch on television, the billboards we pass on buses, and the songs that we listen to.
However, this picture-perfect family life is far from a reality for many, and such false expectations can make the winter break an extremely lonely time for those with complicated home lives. There could be a wide range of reasons as to why family relationships are strained; perhaps the breakdown of a marriage has caused a divide within your family, or the passing of a loved one whose absence is heightened during the holiday period.
Even for students who are fortunate enough to have strong family relationships, the winter break can be a stressful time, as many face the arrival of distant aunts and uncles showing up at their doorstep, or endure the inevitable family bickers that range from conflicting political beliefs to preferred turkey cooking methods. The confinement of being at home for Christmas can heighten stress levels for many, let alone for the students who are forced to live in close quarters with family members they do not have good relationships with.
For second-year student Katie, her parents' contentious divorce and the upcoming anniversary of her grandfather’s passing makes the winter break particularly difficult and fills her with ‘dread’.
When asked ‘How do you spend your time during the winter break?’ She responded: ‘I try not to be with my family as much as I can over the winter break apart from Christmas day because it’s just too complicated.
‘I feel guilty about who to split my time between - all of my cousins and extended family are at my mum’s, but my dad doesn’t have any other family, it is only him. His birthday is also on Christmas day, which makes it really, really difficult if I do not spend my time with him.’
Katie also spoke about the correlation between strained family relationships and increased loneliness, saying: ‘Last Christmas my mum chose to spend the holidays with her new partner leaving me and my sister alone with our auntie. I felt very lonely.’ A study conducted by the Office of National Statistics (ONS) found that those aged between 16 and 24 were the loneliest age group, showing how students are increasingly susceptible to loneliness let alone with the added difficulty of strained family relationships.
There is no direct solution to reconcile strained family relationships. However, there are a number of ways you can prepare yourself in the run-up towards the winter break and precautions you can take that help protect your mental wellbeing. Setting boundaries and removing yourself from toxic family environments where possible is important, whether that be visiting a friend’s house, or simply taking the dog on a walk for an hour and getting out of the house. The University of Bristol reinforces this, advising students to spend more time outdoors as research shows that being in green spaces can reduce anxiety.
During her interview, Katie explained one of the measures she takes to help her mental health in the winter break: ‘Staying away from social media and not looking at other people's families and Christmas really helps me.’ In today’s society, students are exposed to the false realities posted on social media which during the winter break perpetuates images of the perfect family life, whether that be the truth or not. In fact, a study executed by CNBC found an increasing correlation between social media usage and feelings of loneliness. By removing yourself from the toxicities of social media, it can stop you from drawing unhealthy comparisons.
It is also important to keep in mind that the winter break is only temporary, the worry itself can overshadow the reality that you will only have to withstand this environment for a matter of weeks. Grounding techniques can be a helpful mechanism in reducing anxiety levels, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, recommended by the National Health Service, as well as breathing techniques, which Psychologist Dr Holly Kahya says provides relief from psychological distress as they help to lower your heart rate and blood pressure.
What to do when Christmas does not meet merry expectations
The effect of social media at Christmas
In a time renowned for family bonding, the winter break can be extremely challenging for those who haven’t got secure family relationships. It is important to prioritise mental well-being during this period by setting boundaries and removing yourself from toxic environments where possible. If you know someone who might feel isolated during the winter break, reaching out to them can foster a sense of connection and inclusion, helping everyone feel valued and supported.
Featured Image: Epigram/ Ilona Hoffmann
How do you spend your winter break?
