An anonymous student writes for Epigram Wellbeing about their struggle to access the mental health services in their time of need.
I would like to preface this piece by making it clear that I fully believe the NHS is one of the best things we have. It is not their fault that the services are overwhelmed and I know that those who are providing the help often feel as helpless as those who need it, as they are inundated with more and more patients. I do not know where the problems begin and end but I wanted to share my experience in the hope that people who have gone through the same thing feel less isolated. I also hope this can prompt a conversation on what needs to be done, particularly at Bristol University, at a time of scrutiny in the failures of the services, who ultimately need more support themselves.
Despite this meaning I am closer than ever to getting help, I cannot stress enough the impact trying to access the right help has had.
Earlier this year I was taken to hospital after a self-harming incident. I was at rock bottom and realised that if I continued to neglect help things could rapidly go downhill. At this point I found it incredibly difficult to know what to do, how talk about the reality of the darkness I was feeling and admit I needed treatment once again. To be honest, it even took a lot to book a doctor’s appointment. I know for a fact that I am not alone in this.
I began by going to Bristol’s Student Health Service and was referred to the SHERPA programme. However, within a week my appointment had been pushed back two months. This was the first of many delays. I pushed myself to keep trying and went to the doctor in my hometown to try and get more immediate help. I was referred to the Single Point of Access service who phoned me within a week and asked me the classic mental health assessment questions. Following the assessment, I was given numbers to call for helplines and told I should go back to the doctors to find a counselling service. At this point I was confused; I thought this phone call was how I got into a service? I was honestly too depressed and mentally drained to go back to the doctors, so I left this avenue, relying on returning to Bristol for my SHERPA appointment during summer.
I’m going through help with mental health at the moment and although the service is outstanding the wait times are not. 12 weeks to get CBT? All the while I am suffering. It’s not good enough.
— Chris Mas0n (@CRMason) October 29, 2018
Five months later I am still waiting for any treatment and have done a further three initial assessments. I was not admitted to the SHERPA programme - being that it specialises for severe psychological disorders and addictions - and am currently waiting for my first appointment with the University’s mental wellbeing advisors, as well as a course of group self-harm help sessions run by Bristol Wellbeing Services, outside of the uni. I was advised the waiting list for the CBT I would need was too long at nine months, therefore I would receive faster help as part of a group.
At points, it seemed like the only way I was going to get help without having to go through too many confusing avenues, cancellations and wait times was to pay for treatment.
Despite this meaning I am closer than ever to getting help, I cannot stress enough the impact trying to access the right help has had. At points, it seemed like the only way I was going to get help without having to go through too many confusing avenues, cancellations and wait times was to pay for treatment. The prospect of this only induced further guilt and unnecessary pressure on my recovery but is ultimately - like for most - not a viable option. What troubles me the most is that there would be other people who were in a worse mental state than me, who didn’t have a safe and healthy home life and cannot afford private treatment, who may also be consistently pushed back on their treatment and confused as to how to access it. Getting help from a doctor regarding mental health issues is hard enough, but it would seem to only be the first step in a long and demotivating marathon. I hope that many of the appointments which are cancelled and so hard to access are to offer immediate help to those who were literally on the brink.
Despite how it may sound, I am not annoyed because of what has personally happened to me. Whilst it has not helped my mental state, I am more angered by the principle of seemingly lax attitudes towards free mental healthcare for those that are in dire need. Getting trapped in a cycle of appointments, referrals and cancellations aggravates whatever mental health issues a person is struggling with and unquestionably demotivates any attempts to push for help. This is not right. We should not be pushed to pay for private healthcare when somewhere within the NHS psychologists exist who have the abilities to help. Mental healthcare is a right, not a privilege. If someone says they are not okay, this needs to be taken at face value and not compared in severity to another’s version of not being okay. Please be aware that I am so thankful that we have free healthcare, but it comes to a point where constant waiting and appointments is a hindrance, not a help to improving mental health and ultimately exacerbates the vicious cycle of strained resources.
I am so thankful that we have free healthcare, but it comes to a point where constant waiting and appointments is a hindrance, not a help.
It is as if once at University you fall between the cracks of University services, local services and your home services. I believe these need to be integrated, if only to level out the strain on each. Similarly, it needs to be comprehensively clear where to go to access what sort of help and how, in an encouraging and normalising way. If someone says they are not okay, this needs to be taken at face value and not compared in severity to anyone else. Getting the strength to reach out for help is huge and there needs to be some level of support the minute this happens, if only to check in between assessments, appointments and more referrals.
Phrases like ‘Well done for coming to the right place, we will give you the help you need’, begin to lose impact after hearing them half a dozen times.
Featured Image: Unsplash / rawpixel
Have you had similar experiences? If so, comment below or get in touch.
