An anonymous student talks about the negative effects drugs had on their mental wellbeing.
There was a reason I stopped doing drugs.
As someone who suffers with depression and anxiety, I have always felt the aftermath of a heavy weekend particularly hard.
The anxiety that keeps me awake at night due to fear that if I close my eyes I won’t wake up again. The loss of confidence in my ability to do anything, and in fact a loss of ability in doing simple things.
The heightened sensitivity, crying over small triggers, and the embarrassment that comes with that. The inability to be alone, but the voice in my head that tells me that my friends don’t value me. The feelings of worthlessness. The questioning of my own existence.
And the thing is, I know that this whirlpool of emotion is the result of the substances I took. But that doesn’t give me any peace. They are still there, creating nausea and causing isolation.
Most nights out are drug fuelled, and you enjoy it. And then you notice your health is deteriorating…
I came to university free of drugs for over three years. As a mature student, I’ve had my fair share of drug habits and every-now-and-theners.
I’ve seen and experienced how much drugs wreck people’s mental wellbeing, memory, and general motivation. It completely drove me away from them.
But the environment at university just makes it too easy to forget why you shouldn’t pop that pill, or snort that line.
It’s normal. And it’s fun. And then it starts becoming a habit.
Alcohol, drugs & non-stop partying takes such a toll on your mental, physical & financial wellbeing
— sober taylor (@taylor_ellana) September 30, 2016
Most nights out are drug fuelled, and you enjoy it. And then you notice your health is deteriorating. And you can’t sleep as well anymore.
But everyone feels the same, and you all just joke that continuing to get messed up is what it’s all about, you’re at uni after all.
But now we’re in second term, and people are sleeping less and less, and their mental wellbeing is deteriorating more and more.
People are having panic attacks, getting prescribed tablets, and starting to see therapists. Drugs are being continually used, but the aftermath is seeming less worth it.
And so I’ve had to stop. I’ve had to escape. I can’t stand to be back in this whirlpool. I’m sick of it. I’m sick from it.
I’ve remembered that I can have fun without them. I can watch films without smoking a joint beforehand, and I can dance the night away without ingesting a load of powders.
It’s too easy to give into the normality of drugs at university, especially in a place like Bristol.
What isn’t easy is keeping an eye on your mental wellbeing, your thoughts, your motivation, your energy, your emotions.
What isn’t easy is telling yourself when enough is enough, that maybe you need to let your neurotransmitters do their own thing for a bit.
But you really should.
Talk to Frank: http://www.talktofrank.com/, 0300 123 6600
Drug Wise: 0800 002200
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