Welcome to the Epigram Ru-Cap! Grab your wig, your cincher, make sure you tuck is tight, that your face is right and we’ll strut straight into Season 9 of RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Now to Episode 2 and Cynthia Lee Fontaine, Miss. Congeniality of last season, is back to absolutely no-one’s surprise. We open with Lisa Kudrow coming in to the workroom for a whopping time of about 1.14 seconds. Well – when you’ve got Lady Gaga judging on the first episode, you would also feel that you’ve peaked.
This episode’s Maxi Challenge is #QueerCheers, where two teams battle it out in a Bring It On Style Cheer Battle lead by Nina and Cynthia respectively.
Valentina gets picked last, to everyone’s (my) shock. Not only is she my favourite in Drag, but out of Drag she is a ridiculous human being. From the beret to the turtleneck, she looks like an incredibly glamorous mime, I’m obsessed and I will be adopting the look soon.
I can legitimately say that this is the first season in Drag Race history where all the girls came to play
We finally get to the maxi-challenge – it is basically impossible to tell from watching a lot of half-arsed cartwheels and roly-poly’s who would win, but obvious stand outs included Valentina, Trinty, Shea and Alexis.
When we arrive to the main stage, Ru’s ruffle and lacy peppermint green number is not my favourite, but I still know that I would look like the back end of a bus next to the Drag Goddess herself.
And the runway this week? Category is: white party realness. Favourites include Shea’s 60’s Barbarella bodysuit that I really want to wear (but would potentially look a bit odd walking around in Sainsbury’s in it), Sasha’s bold brow look with a classic gown and of course Valentina’s Italian Wedding gown look is so gorgeous and the level of extra that I so enjoy on RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Kimora’s white party on a boat look is my least favourite, serving 2003 Bratz Doll Cruise Couture. Whilst all the other contestants are using Photoshop, Kimora is using MS PAINT.
The stage was whiter than Trump’s cabinet and after failing to impress the judges, Kimora and Jaymes end up in the bottom two. This week’s Lip-sync for your Life is ‘Love Shack’ by the B-52’s, who were also judges this week.
It’s a hot-mess of a lip-sync. Kimora’s sailor hat comes off, Jaymes kicks off her shoes, one of her boobs (a piece of what looks like sponge) pops out. It is not a lip-sync for the ages and, alas, Jaymes is sent home. Though I feel like she sold the song more on the runway, Kimora’s control of the runway was worth another week in the competition apparently.
I can legitimately say that this is the first season in Drag Race history where all the girls came to play. Let’s just say, there are no Sasha Belle’s or Serena Cha Cha’s this season. But as the calibre of queens raises, I wonder whether the standard of the show will keep consistent.
You can catch up with Season 9 of RuPaul’s Drag Race on Netflix.
Which queen do you cheerlead for? Let us know on @EpigramFilm.